Barnaby Buttercup, a seemingly ordinary resident of the quaint village of Upper Tupperware, has made an extraordinary claim: he has discovered the secret to immortality, and it involves a rather pungent combination of pickled onions and polka music. “It all started with a dream,” Barnaby explained, his eyes gleaming with a manic intensity that suggested … Continue reading Man Claims Pickled Onions and Polka Music Hold the Key to Eternal Life (Doctors Baffled, Onion Sales Soar)