Intergalactic travel site TripAdvisor is reeling after a scathing one-star review of planet Earth, penned by a disgruntled Martian tourist.

Gleepglorp, a self-proclaimed “intergalactic gourmand and connoisseur of cosmic landscapes,” recently embarked on a week-long vacation to Earth, hoping to experience the “cultural diversity” and “gastronomic delights” advertised in the brochure. However, his trip proved to be a monumental disappointment, prompting him to unleash his fury in a TripAdvisor review that has since gone viral across the galaxy.

“Utterly underwhelming!” Gleepglorp wrote, awarding Earth a single, solitary star. “The atmosphere was thin, the gravity oppressive, and the food… oh, the food! I ordered the ‘haggis’ based on a recommendation from a local, and I’m still recovering from the traumatic experience. It tasted like a sentient sock puppet stuffed with gravel.”

Gleepglorp also criticized Earth’s “lackluster” tourist attractions. “The pyramids were dusty, the Eiffel Tower was overcrowded, and the Great Wall of China was simply too long,” he complained. “And don’t even get me started on the beaches. Sand? Seriously? It gets everywhere!”

But the main source of Gleepglorp’s discontent was the local population. “The humans were a strange and confusing bunch,” he observed. “They spend most of their time staring at glowing rectangles, communicating in a series of incomprehensible grunts and squawks. And their obsession with a beverage called ‘coffee’ is truly baffling. It tastes like burnt toast and despair.”

Gleepglorp concluded his review with a stern warning to his fellow Martians: “If you’re looking for a relaxing and culturally enriching vacation, avoid Earth at all costs. You’re better off spending your space credits on a trip to the Andromeda Galaxy. They have much better food, and the locals are far more welcoming (even the ones with tentacles).”

The review has sparked a heated debate on TripAdvisor, with some Earthlings defending their planet and others conceding that Gleepglorp might have a point.

“He’s not wrong about the haggis,” admitted one Scottish user. “But the rest of Earth is pretty decent, I reckon.”

Meanwhile, the Intergalactic Tourism Board has issued a statement assuring potential visitors that Earth is “still a worthwhile destination, despite the occasional culinary mishap and the odd grumpy Martian.”

As for Gleepglorp, he has reportedly returned to Mars, where he is currently enjoying a plate of Martian delicacies (which apparently consist mainly of rocks and glowing slime) and planning his next intergalactic adventure. Hopefully, his next destination will be more to his liking. Perhaps a nice black hole tour or a relaxing weekend on a neutron star.