To the Editor,

I am writing to express my profound dismay and, frankly, disgust at the current state of affairs regarding the orientation of tea biscuits within their packaging. It seems that common decency and, dare I say, basic geometry have been utterly abandoned in the pursuit of… what, exactly? Efficiency? Cost-cutting?

For decades, it was an unspoken truth, a tacit understanding between biscuit manufacturer and consumer, that rectangular biscuits would be aligned lengthwise within their box. This allowed for ease of access, a pleasing visual symmetry, and, most importantly, prevented unnecessary biscuit breakage.

But now? Now, I am routinely confronted with a chaotic jumble of biscuits, haphazardly strewn about their container with no regard for their delicate structure or the consumer’s peace of mind. Just this morning, I opened a fresh box of “Digestive Delights” (a brand I have long held in high esteem, I might add) only to find the biscuits arranged in a manner that can only be described as “willfully obtuse.” Two were positioned diagonally, three were横向き (as our Japanese friends might say), and one, I kid you not, was standing vertically!

Is this the society we have become? A society where even the simple, comforting act of enjoying a biscuit with one’s afternoon tea is fraught with such existential angst? I implore you, dear Editor, to bring this matter to the attention of the public. We must demand better from our biscuit manufacturers. We must insist on a return to order, to reason, to properly aligned biscuits.

Sincerely,

Agatha P. Thistlethwaite (Mrs.) (A Concerned Citizen and Discerning Biscuit Enthusiast)