Local Lad Makes Panto Dream a Reality!

(As seen in The Bard’s Eye View)

Hold onto your hats, folks! Stratford-upon-Avon is abuzz with the most unexpected news since that time a swan tried to steal a picnic basket right out from under Dame Judi Dench (true story, by the way). Reginald “Reggie” Featherbottom-Smythe, the Olivier Award-winning thespian legend known for his soul-stirring Hamlet and devastatingly dashing King Lear, is ditching the dramatic doublet for a rather more… whimsical wardrobe.

That’s right, readers! Our Reggie, the very same man who can bring a tear to your eye with a single Shakespearean soliloquy, is set to grace the stage as “Second Villager #3” in the upcoming production of “Cinderella” at the (ahem) slightly less prestigious Stratford Community Playhouse.

“It’s been a lifelong dream,” confided Mr. Featherbottom-Smythe to our reporter, whilst delicately sipping his customary peppermint tea (with a side of red dahlias, naturally). “Years I’ve spent treading the boards, delivering lines of gravitas and despair. But deep down, I yearned for the thrill of shouting, ‘He’s behind you!’ and indulging in a bit of good old-fashioned slapstick.”

Sources reveal that Mr. Featherbottom-Smythe’s rider for the panto is proving somewhat challenging for the Playhouse’s limited budget. “We’re not quite sure where we’re going to find ethically sourced red dahlias in December,” admitted a flustered stage manager, “and the only peppermint tea we have is the supermarket own-brand.”

Despite the logistical hurdles, excitement is reaching fever pitch. Tickets for “Cinderella” are selling faster than you can say “Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo,” with theatregoers eager to witness this Shakespearean superstar embrace the silliness of panto.

“I can’t wait to see Reggie in a silly wig and oversized shoes,” gushed local resident Mrs. Doris Crumblebottom. “Though I do hope he doesn’t try to do Hamlet’s ‘To be or not to be’ speech in the middle of the pumpkin carriage scene.”

We, for one, cannot wait to see what this dramatic departure holds! Break a leg, Reggie! (But not literally, mind you. The Playhouse can’t afford the insurance.)